One of the greatest dilemmas in the world of fishing is the concept of catch and release. Nothing will get an Internet forum like Reel-Time hopping faster than a disagreement over the issue of letting fish go. The age old bait broke out again this week -- twice in separate threads -- so I thought I’d tell you all to shut up and listen to the moral authority that is me. I am right. Trust me.
Catch and release is to fishing what the concept of "counting coup" was to Sioux Indians. The braves would ride screaming across the Great Plains wearing warpaint just to rush up and touch somebody with a stick. As if to say, "Take that sucker. I could of -- but chose not to -- kicked your butt and tucked you in for a dirt nap."
The concept of catch and release is a simple one to grasp: catch a fish and let it go so it can live to be caught again by less enlightened souls who will kill it and eat it.
This begs the big question that plagues all catch and releasers: what is the point of fishing if you don’t eat the fish? To play with a fish for your own adrenal enjoyment, to impale its lip with a hook, and then let it go because you’re a good person, a better man than the nasty fish eater? Nah. I think catch-and-release, as opposed to catch-and-filet, turns a fisherman into a benevolent god for a few minutes, staying the hand of death after holding something marvelously alive in their hands for a few moments. Or, less poetically, someone who doesn’t want to be bothered with cleaning their catch.
The case can be made that people who let their fish go are doing the right thing, taking only what they need, finding a little sport in the great outdoors, and in general being good environmental citizens who give a hoot about such stuff as global warming and trash on the beach. Yet for some reason there is a wild-eyed group of people who see bloodsports such as fishing and hunting as all-or-nothing affairs. Either you go onto the water, rod in hand, to find food, or you’re playing with yourself. This is not a concept that bedevils deer hunters. I have yet to hear of any one taking out a buck with a rubber riot bullet, taking their picture with the stunned creature, and then reviving it with a tank of oxygen so it can run away to be knocked out another day. That’s why I don’t hunt. It’s a little too black and white for me. My biggest fear, in my myopia, is winging some poor critter that will limp off to die in a bush.
I have no remorse about dumping a fish back into the ocean, watching it sort of limp away from the boat, and then convincing myself that it will grow up someday to be the next Fish President or Mahatma Gandhi of the oppressed piscine masses. Sure it will.
If there is a continuum of fishermen, and at one extreme are those people who kill everything they catch, if even they don’t eat it -- we’ll call these people the Ted Bundy’s of the fishing world -- and on the other extreme are those people who let everything go that they catch: we’ll call them the Fish Huggers -- then I suspect, as with most statistical samples, the rest of us fall someplace in the middle of the bell curve, eating a few fish here and there, letting a few fish go. I’ve fished with catch-and-kill types. These guys get angry at the concept of slot limits, minimum sizes, or daily bag limits. Generally they are type-A personalities who got short changed in the personal plumbing department. The catch-and-releasers? If I meet another mystically charged striper mystic who rhapsodizes about gamefish status, can sling around statistics about circle hooks, and year-of-yonng indices, who gets bug-eyed about the EEZ, the AFSMC, the CCA, the CIA, the SOMF ..
Now I agree there are some fish that just plain shouldn’t be eaten on the basis that they can’t be eaten: dogfish, toadfish, and hagfish come to mind. And there are others that I wouldn’t eat at gunpoint but for some reason are suddenly in vogue: like sea robins, thanks to an ill-informed article in the New York Times’ Dining Section such as "Hoboken's Portugese Culinary Treasure: The Sea Robin" which sends every Martha Stewart wanna-be rushing to their fish market looking for dreadful flotsam like skate wings and cod cheeks. I'd like to meet the desperate fool who first ate a sea urchin.
There are species of fish that are endangered according to those who count fish, and which make iffy meals to begin with. I mean, do you really want to grill a manatee? My Weber would collapse. Fricasee a Great White? Kebab a Blue Marlin?
Then there are those gentle souls who set them all free. Who eat nothing. God bless them. But you have to wonder what conflicted urge is sending them out to the beaches with barbless hooks when they could be manning the Peace Booth at the Barnstable Fair handing out alarming leaflets about genocide and third world water quality.
There are some interesting religious cults in the world with adherents who sweep their path before them as they walk to avoid stepping on ants, who won’t eat plants that grow underground (like carrots or potatoes) because the act of unearthing them is so violent. These people wear veils over their mouths so they don’t inhale bugs. I dated a girl like that once. She was a comparative literature major who dressed in black and cried when I ordered a steak. She told me she never ate anything with a face on it. I asked her if that included jellyfish. That relationship never blossomed very far, in part due to my carnivorous ways, in part to due to her reliance on home-made organic deodorants and the unhappy habit she had of crying while we made out on her couch.
What are the bloody sins I need to be absolved of? There are so many ...
Bless me father for I participated in the exploding of a bluefish with a cherry bomb once at the Town Dock with some bad kids. It was my cherry bomb and my bluefish. Someone else lit the fuse.
A dozen Hail Mary’s for me because I once caught an eel on a drop line, dragged it up the street through the sand because I was six and I was afraid of it. I showed it to my grandmother who found a hammer and a 60 penny spike and nailed it through the head to the barn door. She then circumcised it with a paring knife and skinned it like a dirty sock with a pair of pliers. She fried it in butter and pointed out the disgusting fact that the eel segments continued to move as they were cooked. I didn’t eat any.
My brother-in-law once caught a very tenacious bluefish on a plug. The plug was totally inhaled by the bluefish and since it was my plug and since the plug cost five dollars, I decided to get it back. I tried the old gentle technique of trying to forcibly rip it out with a pair of pliers, but the bluefish objected most strenuously. So I decided to filet the bluefish. (how many people have no problems filleting a live fish? I don’t. I subscribe to the "Fish have no nerve endings" School of Denial Ichthyology) Which I did, rapidly, on a piece of old maple flooring I keep under the bow of the world’s dirtiest boat. I got the plug back -- by pushing it down through the fish -- then consigned the skeletal remains to Davy Jones’ locker. The fish swam away. This was a fish out of Wes Craven. A Friday the 13th meets Freddy Fish. A veritable Devil fish.
I left a bucket full of shiners in the sun once. A thirsty chipmunk fell into the bucket and drowned. I felt worse about the chipmunk’s death than the minnows. I buried the chipmunk in a cigar box and froze the dead shiners for fluke bait. Why? Because the chipmunk was furry, and there are no cartoons about minnows? No helium-voiced singing minnows like Alvin and the Chipmunks? Relative moral ethics can be a tough nut to crack.
Now, back to the easy part. Telling you where the fish are so you can rush out and catch one and then ponder your deity-like powers for an instant and determine whether (thumbs up or thumbs down?) if that sea robin is going to return to its family and make more sea robins or if its tail is going to be turned into some nasty, over-sauced kitchen stinker you saw Emeril make on the Food Channel. There are fish. There are many fish. Everything is lighting up. Bait balls abound. Winds have been low (for now), and the beaches are devoid of tourists, amateurs, and other distractions. If I were to give one tip, it would be this: think south Cape -- anywhere from Monomoy to Mattapoisett -- arm yourself with Bonito Bunnies on sinking lines, and look for bait balls. Beaches? Craigville and Dowses come into their own in a big way this time of year. South Cape has some serious albie schools parading up and down it on Tuesday morning. Woods Hole has had bonito catchable from the docks and bulkheads. The Poge Gut is a mob scene because it is the Derby, but hey, where would you rather be than Martha’s Vineyard in September? Canal seems very fishable these days as well. All in all, weather permitting this weekend; this is a very, very good time of year to be a saltwater fisherman on Cape Cod.