bones
08-24-2003, 10:17 AM
One day Bill Clinton has a heart attack and dies. He immediately descends to hell, where the Devil awaits him.
"I don't know what to do here" says the Devil. "You are on my list, but I have no room for you." The Devil pondered a few moments, then asserted, "You definitely have to stay here, so this is what I will have to do. I've got a few folks down here who weren't quite as bad as you, so I'll let one of them go, but you have to take that persons' place. I'll even let you decide which one leaves!"
Clinton thought that sounded pretty good, so the Devil opened the door to the first room. In it was Ted Kennedy in a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed. Over, and over, and over. Such was his fate in Hell. "No," said Bill, "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I wouldn't like doing that all day long"
The Devil led him to the next room. In it was Al Gore with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that sledgehammer, time after time. "Oh no," said Bill, "This won't work, I have this shoulder problem and I would be in constant agony if all I could do is break rocks all day."
The Devil opened the third door. In the room Clinton saw Jesse Jackson lying on the floor with his arms raised over his head, his legs spread, a huge smile on his face. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky in her blue dress, doing what she does best.
Clinton looked upon the scene in disbelief, a wide grin on his face, and finally he shouted, "Yeah! Hell yeah! I can handle this! I'll start right now!"
The Devil smiled, turned, and said, "OK, Monica, you're free to go."
"I don't know what to do here" says the Devil. "You are on my list, but I have no room for you." The Devil pondered a few moments, then asserted, "You definitely have to stay here, so this is what I will have to do. I've got a few folks down here who weren't quite as bad as you, so I'll let one of them go, but you have to take that persons' place. I'll even let you decide which one leaves!"
Clinton thought that sounded pretty good, so the Devil opened the door to the first room. In it was Ted Kennedy in a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed. Over, and over, and over. Such was his fate in Hell. "No," said Bill, "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I wouldn't like doing that all day long"
The Devil led him to the next room. In it was Al Gore with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that sledgehammer, time after time. "Oh no," said Bill, "This won't work, I have this shoulder problem and I would be in constant agony if all I could do is break rocks all day."
The Devil opened the third door. In the room Clinton saw Jesse Jackson lying on the floor with his arms raised over his head, his legs spread, a huge smile on his face. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky in her blue dress, doing what she does best.
Clinton looked upon the scene in disbelief, a wide grin on his face, and finally he shouted, "Yeah! Hell yeah! I can handle this! I'll start right now!"
The Devil smiled, turned, and said, "OK, Monica, you're free to go."