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dtgallosr
10-23-2005, 01:04 PM
went over a painted bridge that spans a body of water that suffers tidal flows. traveled on a two lane freeway at 55mph for quite some time before veering at a green sign with a number on it that pointed me towards a fishing spot only known by me and the savior. the road was FAC with only a few bumps. the breeze whistled thru the four hairs on my head. at a large circle in the road i got a phone call on my nextel from an unknown source. this was the hot tip i needed and i put the hammer down to the floor and hit 56mph. i traveled for quite some time until i saw a man with a hat and took a left. he was standing next to a brown wooden sign that had been painted. i took another left before i was agast to see all these trucks in my secret spot. i park the toyota and my feet carry me east towards birds. the radar in my fishing hat with propellers told me this was the fish. i stagger east to find a guy fishing in my secret hole. he is no more than 5 8 and i think i can take him easily but i decide to leave him alone unless he catches a fish. i had left my wrestling belt and bluefish bat in the truck and had my sundays best on under my hefty bag waders. i move east and find a secluded spot. at some point during the night a turtle must have come up on the beach and had eggs. i see two eggs and someone has written the words titleist on them. i've never heard of titleist turtles so i return them to the sand in case they are plover eggs.

i make a cast on my custom 900 dollar rod spooled with 750 tuna braid coated with plutonium. the rod is made of graphite melted down from discarded space shuttle tiles, there is nothing better on earth. at the end of the line is a titanium plug bent into the shape of a glass slipper with a 27 odd treble with genuine mammoth hair as a teaser. i assault fish up to 4 pounds for two hours until sunrise. exhausted i stumble back to the camry. the winds have changed and i can barely stand. desperate i am carried back to the car by an old lady walking her hairless dog. she tells me next time she calls the cops if i fish so close to her waterfront home.

i fished south cape beach east of the golf course before sunrise the biggest fish was 41 inches caught on a polaris yellow. harbor blues took over at first light.

stop telling us bedtime stories. this is a fishing site not readers digest.

Bob Parsons
10-23-2005, 02:14 PM
A creative parady, read and enjoy. Add your own parady if you wish. Let this thread be entertaining, No need for flames or negative comments. Let's see how this goes. Hrmmmm where'd I put my thread keys.......

riptide
10-23-2005, 03:54 PM
Having been compared to Reader's Digest, I did a little footwork. I know they've been around forever (I hope to be in business as long as them) But I found their mission statement and realized your right on the money with your comparision. If you replace RD with Riptide Charters in this statement it's VERY accurate. My reports hoepfully do all of these things.

It is the Reader's Digest mission to create products that inform, enrich, entertain and inspire people of all ages and cultures around the world. We are committed to understanding, anticipating and satisfying our customers' needs. This takes precedence in all we do.

I like that so much I changed my signature. --125-3

maineguideman
10-23-2005, 03:59 PM
Being from Maine, Im not that bright is that some of that Ironic sarcasim directed at long time cotributers that happen to be good at posting accurate up to date information that we all read and use even if we dont admit to it?

uptonfloyd
10-23-2005, 04:08 PM
So much ragging on this board lately. You have to wonder why people are so willing to take the bait. Could it be that while one gender of the human species has monthly periods, striper fishermen have just one big one when they sense the end of the season is near?

I enjoy Terry's reports and report very little myself for the same reason...I don't get to fish near as much as I sit and dream about getting out fishing. But like a low sperm count, I don't think everyone should be judged strictly by the numbers (of posts, that is).

As to the parody-ist. You had me at 41" and South Cape Beach, brother. Why close on a nasty note when you could be considered funny?

Shake keyboards. Stop bickering. And keep giving me places I can imagine fishing once the wife, kids and work come into brief alignment...

uptonfloyd
10-23-2005, 05:44 PM
God Bless America!

(Okay, I'm just trying to get my post count up...)

dcobbett
10-23-2005, 05:53 PM
dtgallosr,

Some of the best humor/satire I've read on this site in a while, and I think we can all use a large dose of both right now.

Onshore
10-23-2005, 05:56 PM
Keep it up, Terry. I for one don't want to see your reports changed a bit. They have been a big help and inspiration to me to get out more and do better.

striperman13
10-23-2005, 06:28 PM
I enjoy prose as much as the next guy, but I admit that the vagueness of some recent posts has become somewhat humerous. I would bet that most users of this site have their own spots they like to fish and could care less where other people are catching fish. I read this forum mostly for the pure enjoyment. I would no sooner run out to fish a spot because someone caught a fish there yesterday than I would jump off a bridge.

I will also say that I enjoy everything I read on this site because it is about my favorite subject KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.

sage fly guy
10-23-2005, 07:55 PM
$900.00 custom rod??? (#$119)

I got you beat. ;)

chris

Lurch
10-23-2005, 08:19 PM
"i make a cast on my custom 900 dollar rod spooled with 750 tuna braid coated with plutonium. the rod is made of graphite melted down from discarded space shuttle tiles, there is nothing better on earth. at the end of the line is a titanium plug bent into the shape of a glass slipper with a 27 odd treble with genuine mammoth hair as a teaser."

One of the best post I have ever read!!!

The only thing i would add is that it was woven together by Olivanders (the person who sold harry potter his wand).

FishOnMon
10-23-2005, 10:11 PM
WATCH OUT LURCH

Remember who had that wand first. He did horrable, unspeakable things with it. Lets not add to all the negative kharma! --123-3 :brow

LandlockedinMI
10-24-2005, 09:52 AM
Great, but terrible.

Lurch
10-24-2005, 11:19 AM
I thought there were two wands that were made from the phoenix feather???

One for val...never mention that name...and Harry??

I am no expert but I did see the movie :)

This is nice to see the lighter side of fishing rather than all of the negative stuff :)

LandlockedinMI
10-24-2005, 02:59 PM
No kidding.