Etiquette Question

[JGH]

Hypothetical friends A and B. A owns a boat and regularly takes B out fishing (5-6 times per season), without asking for gas money (though friend B sometimes offers it and A declines it). On one trip, A inadvertently breaks/loses a piece of B's equipment, say, for example, a Boga grip (worth about $120). Is it bad form for B to ask A to pay for it?

I say it is bad form, and that it is not even a close call. What is the group's view?

[Ray]

Yes. You could have just as easily lost it yourself. Several hundred dollars worth of fishing trips is a reasonable trade.

[brushfly]

I'm with you...safe to assume B will no longer be invited on A's boat?

[lowwall]

I hate to ask, first trip is free all others I treat it like a business deal in an email or mentioned up front. If I have to ask after that you are off the list
You break it / loose it you buy it on my boat!

[Smitti]

I wouldn't ask that the boat owner to pay for the broken / lost equipment. It is unfortunate but with the price of gas and insurance it is immaterial.

Good luck.

[FirstCast]

Well, Mr. A - you are a good friend, to a fault. B is "B"ing an idiot (a more graphic word would be more appropriate) by even thinking about asking for his broken/lost equipment to be replaced.

Remove Mr. B from your list of invitees.

[flyaddict]

A stand-up guy would replace the item no questions asked. At a minimum he should have offered.
I once snagged a friend's flyline while trying out his fly gear and I bought him a new line.

[CaptSuperfly]

I've been in this situation. I typically offer to replace anything I break or lose and I've never had anybody take me up on it. That said, I usually make an effort to do it anyway.

On the flip side, I've never demanded anybody replace something they've broken - though most I think would offer. I've usually declined (exception, my brother in law dropped a new Cabo spinning reel and trevala over the side. he was so sick about it he was really not going to feel right until I gave him the model numbers and let him replace it.)

It's kind of like going out to dinner together, who's going to pick up the check, right?

It would be a shame for something like this to drive a wedge between fishing buddies. If it were me, I'd buy a new boga and put a bow (and a crab buoy) on it...

[venture]

In this case, friends should offer and not ask.

Friend "B" should always at least offer to help pay expenses.
A generously does not have to accept his offer or can accept his offer.

Friend "A" should have offered to replace the Boga grip.
B generously does not have to accept or can accept his offer.

One has nothing to do with the other.

If B said that he would like to take A up on his offer to replace the Boga grip, A should not be upset because his generous nature of treating his friend to fish on his boat should have no conditions as they were friends.

Does this make sense?


Howie

[FirstCast]

This is a fun topic, and several good points have been made. We have however, strayed from the original question.

Is it bad form for B to ask A to pay for the Boga grip in question?

While it is certainly "good form" for A to offer to replace it, it is (IMHO) equally bad form for B to seek restitution for his beloved Boga.

BTW - I agree that it is not even a close call.

[saltyh2ofly]

The original statement said "friends".....friends should always be able to work it out. Family can fight it out but friends are picked not thrust upon you. Me....they're even and go fishing next week before the season is over.

[FirstCast]

friends should always be able to work it out. Family can fight it out but friends are picked not thrust upon you. Me....they're even and go fishing next week before the season is over.

Absolutely.

[ruge13]

As a profesional boat whore, I am always friend B. I can answer from experience. if my friend A lost something of mine, regardless of cost then ahh well, I could have done the same as others mentioned. God knows I've done it. If I ever asked friend A to pay for it, or anything for that matter, even food, I would expect the aformentioned bitch slap followed by a "thank you sir, may I have another". I also should have mentioned even if I paid more than my share of gas money I would still feel the same way.

[ChemFly]

I don't know if Emily Post was a sportfisher, but if she were I suspect that she would lean on the side of good manners and suggest that "A" offers to replace the lost item in question regardless of the moderate manners or integrity of "B" to occasionally offer monetary assistance at other times and ways. It is the conscience "A" to weigh the option.

Manners are glue that hold the fabric of society together...