Part fishing report, part humour.
Warning: This will only be funny if you have seen and memorized the movie "Napoleon Dynamite." If you haven't, sorry, the exit is to your left.
I have caught over 10,000 striped bass in my life but have only kept one. And that one only because it was a 30+ lb fish I hooked while fishing a 7-weight, and after the long fight I could not revive her.
I love sushi when we go out, but keeping a fish honestly never occurs to me. I'd rather get it back in the water quickly so I can get back to business.
Anyway, my wife and I have 3 kids and a great au pair from France lives with us to help out. She is from Brittany, a beautiful area very similar to Down East Maine. Everyone eats lots fish there of course ... it's a way of life.
So Carole has always been depressed to see me come home empty-handed. Even more so when I tell her, "oh yes, I caught a dozen or so." She looks inconsolable. It would be an understatement to say the whole concept of catch-and-release escapes her entirely.
Carole's 25th birthday is Saturday, and my wife and I came up with a plan. I went out this morning to the rocks in York, Maine in search of a "slot" fish to keep and present to her as a birthday present. (For those who don't know, ME allows one fish between 20" and 26.")
I hit the water at 5:30AM and was immediately in to a fish. 19." 15 minutes later, another fish. 19." 15 minutes later, yet another .. of course. 19."
Finally, after about an hour on the water I managed to pull up onto the rocks a fish of 21." Jackpot! I clumsily whacked that poor sucker on the head, carried it up to my car, and deposited it in an ice-filled cooler.
I went back down to the rocks, picked up a couple more small fish, and then hooked a nice one of about 32". She took almost as soon as the fly hit the water on a 70' cast out beyond the breakers. Great, strong fight ... gotta love them in the surf! After a few minutes, I got her up onto the flooded rocks I was standing on and was about to reach down to release her when that became unnecessary ... the barbless hook slipped out and she flopped back into deep water. "Cool, I meant to do that!"
OK, mission accomplished. I got my slot fish and, bonus, caught (more or less) a really nice fish. Time to head home.
So here's the plan for Sat: I am keeping that fish on ice until Sat morning. Then, my wife is going to fill a box with ice, place the fish in it, seal said box, and giftwrap it.
When Carole tears off the paper she will see scrawled across the box those infamous words she knows so well ... "I caught you a delicious bass."
I will grill that thing up and then it's all hers ... I'll take a rare Delmonico please.
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